It was a hot and humid September afternoon in 2016. I was newly sober, still adjusting to the harsh reality of dealing with life - without drugs for support. I was working at a restaurant busing tables, and I was still incredibly self-conscious about the scars on my arms. The raw and discolored track marks were barely healed from years of IV drug use. I was ashamed of my past, and the shame kept me frozen in the present and unable to see a future.

I didn’t want to roll up my sleeves and show the most vulnerable part of myself, but one day it happened. I was standing in the kitchen grabbing a loaf of bread when a server passed me, looked down at my arms, and asked me, “Hey man…what’s up with those scars?”

I froze.

My worst fears had been realized. I was exposed. My secret wasn’t safe anymore. My lip trembled, and the clock in the kitchen seemed to freeze as time stood still.

Suddenly, it hit me: I didn’t have to be afraid. I couldn’t change my past, but it didn’t have to define my future. I didn’t have to be ashamed of my scars.

I turned and faced the server, and felt a sense of cathartic relief as I said: “I’m a recovering addict. These scars are from addiction. I’m clean and sober now. I’m working hard every day to make sure I don’t go back to the way it was.” I was afraid that my co-worker would judge me or hate, but instead… I received empathy and concern.

When I was 10 months sober, I decided that I wanted to get a tattoo to honor my commitment to sobriety. I had many friends who were also in recovery, who had chosen to cover their scars from addiction with tattoos. At first, I had a similar impulse, but instead of covering my scar with a tattoo, I decided to design a tattoo outline around the prominent scar and highlight it. By doing so, I was able to embrace my past and artfully integrate it into my future.

If we choose to use our eyes to see ourselves and others as we truly are - without any preconceived bias or judgment - we can come together to collectively heal and move forward.

By coming to terms with our past and fully embracing the raw and honest beauty of our scars and the stories that they tell, we create a future for ourselves, in which our greatest vulnerabilities become our greatest strengths.